I’m an apple

A fairly nice apple, as apples go. I’m quite shiny, crunchy, worm free. In an apple contest I might even manage a Highly Commended.
But I’m not an orange. No matter how much fake tan I apply or how long I spend in Seville, I’m never going to be an orange.

So, my shortlisting for the TGO online retailer of the year for the second running has left me a bit, pah. Of course it’s nice to be nominated, but the glaring differences between what I do and what the other nominees in the category do just leaves me even more cynical and bemused by whole the Outdoors Media Game.

I won’t be attending the glitzy awards ceremony.

This, on the other hand, makes me very happy…

“It arrived this morning and I think you may have excelled yourself, Sean. The workmanship’s just fuckin’ sublime. Seriously, man. Don’t ever doubt that you’re good at this stuff.

I’m at a loss for superlatives. You even personalised it FFS!!! Good. Fuckin’. Job.

Oh btw, no way am I letting you pay nearly £13 in postage on my account. Ping me your Paypal or your domicile address and I’ll send you some form of recompense. I’m serious. Don’t even think about fuckin’ with me on this.

Sorry for the sweary post; my language can get a bit fruity when I’m happy.”

Folk often take the time to write and tell me they are pleased, but rarely am I treated to such a well crafted sweary outburst as this.

Anyway, time for an update. Wait times are still long. I’m still behind schedule. I’m not about to disappear. A few folk are snitty, most are not. It is what it is. I’m doing my best.

I’ve experienced a bit of a relapse this past month or so. It bores me to say it again, like a stuck fucking record.
Depression is an insidious twat. Most illnesses you get better or you die. This one lurks. Some people liken it to a black dog. I disagree. A dog has intent. A degree of intellect. Mine’s more like a slug. With a bit of toad and Mr Blobby thrown in. It has no cunning. It has no intellect. It’s malevelovent but devoid of any conscious purpose or motive.
It wanders off, doing whatever it does, and then without apparent reason it returns. I wake up one morning and it’s crushing my chest and it’s blank expression is sucking my self worth away.
I get up and it shifts to my shoulder, and there it sits until for some reason it simply falls off.

Hope that’s cheered you up. I’m available for childrens’ parties.

10 thoughts on “I’m an apple

  1. Good for you Sean. None of us are automatons, but have been seduced by factories producing products where human connection is removed. It’s real, depression sucks, and sometimes you can’t emulate being a robot no matter how hard you try. I hope you have the support you need, when you need it.

  2. Hey Sean :) ,
    More than just an apple…I’d say you were like ‘Brogdale’ , where all the apples are! You can morph your apple into whatever type is required! Juicer, cooker, dessert, crab or ‘zider. Those awards just don’t get the magic you perform – the ability to design something ‘just so’. Workmanship is out of this world. I was commenting to a friend the other day how you often see pics of perfectly pitched tents/inners…all drum tight and ‘catalogue pose’ which are impossible to replicate. ..until your 2Oookstar nest arrived. It’s brilliantly intuitive and with zero fuss and faff a quick tweak on the shockcords and ‘voila! – perfect pitch’. That’s engineering and design at it’s best. You da man!

  3. Hi Sean, if wait times are still long then would it perhaps be helpful to let people know by publicising this on your website? What I’m thinking is that, even with the caveat that it sometimes takes longer than expected, your advertised lead times of about 12 weeks don’t appear to have much foundation in reality. If anyone has placed an order with you based on this information then I can well understand why they may subsequently feel aggrieved if you’re unable to come close to meeting that sort of deadline. It’s not a question of impatience – rather that they’ve been misled into having unrealistic expectations by the only information which is currently available.
    You have a reputation which is second to none, so I don’t think you need have any concern about telling it exactly how it is – I’m sure people would continue to seek your services whether your advertised lead times were 9 months, a year, or whatever the appropriate figure is. But I do think people deserve to have the true facts available to them since it is only then that they are able to make the correct decisions for their particular needs.

    Cheers and all best.

  4. Thanks for the responses, folks.

    Stephen – a good point. I’ve altered the lead times on the front page, but unfortunately I still have to be vague until the backlog is under control.
    The amount of factors that have a bearing on wait times makes it impossible to do otherwise just now.

    • There’s no need for numbers if you can say it in words – which the new version certainly does! LOL
      Good luck with everything.

  5. Hi Sean, hang on in there!
    You are respected as a result of your products and you (clearly) as a person.
    Still, I know about that Dog thingy creeping up. I have a dog and I agree, they are not like the depression thing.
    Look for the signs and side step them.
    “All work and no play” really do no good at all.
    Don’t set targets that you can’t meet……you will only let yourself down.
    Folk know your craftsmanship and will be happy to wait.I know, I have four, to order, MLD products…now that’s a wait.
    Take care, Bern

  6. Sean – I’m one who feels aggrieved. I’ve waited 22 weeks after paying for a 12 week estimated delivery. I’ve had no replies to two polite e-mails asking for a revised delivery estimate. Courtesy costs nothing, sympathy is finite. Perhaps you should let people know how long recent production has been taking.

    I’ve never posted anything on the internet before, preferring a human touch, but I’m despairing.

    • Hi Gareth,

      That’s fine – I understand.

      To be honest I’m tired of this. I’m utterly worn out. I feel under siege, exposed, like I have to continually divulge personal information. If I can’t give a definite delivery date, I go into panic mode. If you don’t understand how panic mode feels, that’s fine – I don’t expect you to, but please don’t think it’s anything to do with lack of courtesy.

      And I’m not looking for, or expecting sympathy. If that was the case, I would divulge much more on here, much more often, probably combined with plenty of attention seeking ‘woe is me’ stuff on Twitter. I just want folk to understand a little more, and not merely for my benefit. Not to say that understanding is expected, or that I blame folk who don’t, which is why if my TGO Challenge application is accepted I’ll be using it as an opportunity to try to help raise awareness of mental health issues, probably by attempting to raise money for one of the charities (as the NHS clearly don’t give a fuck)

      On Friday I spent £90 on UPS Express to Germany and drove 120 miles to the UPS depot to ensure a nest was with a customer who was about to leave on a 6 month trip. I have done that 3 times in the past 8 weeks. Because of the financial implications of that I’ve cancelled the session with my therapist which was booked for today. Nobody elses fault that I had to; I should have made the nest sooner, but when I know these lengths that I go to, it kind of stings when folk start on about courtesy etc.

      I’m beginning to think it’s really not worth it. This really isn’t any way to live. Constant worry, no breaks, stress, and for what exactly? A TGO award nomination? That’s a rhetorical question, by the way.

  7. Hi Sean,
    Thanks for the update re the delivery times. I totally understand and sympathise with your situation and constraints.

    I’m awaiting an order placed in April of this year and I’m keeping my fingers crossed it will come soon. Your products look superb and the feedback from happy customers speaks volumes. I see no other products of a similar type in the UK that matches yours and you’ve clearly found a very good niche. I’ve got a Duomid and I’m champing at the bit to use your Oooknest with it.

    From this customer’s perspective the only thing that is a worry is the unknown. i.e. if the product will come at all. Seeing your latest blog entry is very reassuring in that you haven’t disappeared and you will continue to trade. I for one don’t mind waiting a reasonable amount of time as long as I know the product will eventually come. Your blog entry makes me feel like it will arrive in the short term.

    I reckon you need a PA to manage all the comms with the customers!

    On a personal note – I wish you well and hope you continue to trade. Hopefully in the future you can achieve a work/life balance that is right for you.